When Grief Shows Up for the Holidays

Joy, laughter and togetherness are always welcome for the holidays, but sometimes an uninvited guest can pull up a chair too.  

Grief.

You don't have to have lost someone to feel it.  It could be a job loss, a deep disappointment, a strained relationship, a missed opportunity, a health challenge, or changes either chosen or forced that you are adjusting to.

Like a badly behaved guest, if it isn't planned for, properly attended and taken care of, Grief can spoil your plans, wreck your party, embarrass you and leave you crying in the bathroom at the most inopportune of times.

No one wants that.

We can't ask our feelings to leave, but we can be ready for them, treat them kindly, and help ourselves handle them.  I've lost plenty of people at this point in my life, including my mother, and have suffered plenty of hurt, disappointment, strained relationships (and finances, those definitely cause grief!), and goodness knows, changes.  I've tried and failed so many ways to deal with it, including ignoring (it does NOT go away), and have found a few things that work for me, which might work for you too.

1.  Acknowledge Grief
Allow yourself a chance to be sad.  Feel it.  Don't ignore it or stuff it down for a later time.  Have a good cry about it when you have some privacy, you'll be less likely to fall apart later. Hand it to God, asking for help with healing and letting go.

2.  Know Your Triggers
The song "Amazing Grace" just kills me.  It's my favorite, was my mom's favorite, and is such a tender, precious song.  For the longest time, I couldn't hear the tune without my eyes leaking, and while that's better now, I still can't sing it without choking up.  If it started to play at church, I would exit the room.  It was just the easiest way.  If you know something will upset you, take a break, come back when it's over.

3.  Count Your Blessings
Gratitude chases an entire army of yucky feelings away.  It doesn't take long to come up with a handful of reasons to be grateful.

4.  Make Time For Yourself
Get enough rest, eat properly, drink plenty of water, and have a little peace and quiet to do something you enjoy.  A depleted person has a hard time during an average day, much less a holiday.

5.  Talk to Someone
Let your spouse, family, close friend know that you feel sad.  They care about you.  Sometimes grief shows up as irritability, impatience, and sullenness when we don't mean for it to.  It's easier to be patient and supportive of someone if you know they are struggling.

6.  Change It Up
Change things if you need to.  Let go of traditions (at least this time) that are just utterly painful.  Opt out.  You are allowed to decline, let go, and do things differently if you need to.  If it involves others, let them know why, they will be less likely to be hurt and more likely to understand.

7.  Remember Your Loved One
Reminisce over the good, share a funny memory, make a donation or buy a poinsettia for a nursing home in your loved ones name. Ignoring the loss does not help anything, honoring the person will help ease the sting a little.

Remember, you are never alone, each day will get a little better.  Reach out to your people, be honest with how you are feeling, allow yourself to be cared for.  You are worth it!

May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Psalm 119:76 NIV

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.  He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.  Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.  Psalm 147:3-5 NIV

Christmas at RedHouseDryGoods

I've had an Etsy shop for as long as I can remember, it's name and content has changed almost like I have.  When our kids were tiny, CaraMagic held handmade baby gifts, baby sock corsages and sparkly princess wands.  As they got older, the things I made changed a little too.  When we moved to a house so red, the name just had to change as well.  CaraMagic became Red House Dry Goods.  We no longer live in the red house, and goodness knows I hope the color our house is now is not permanent, but the shop name remains.  Long story short, Christmas has come to RedHouseDryGoods!

You'll find stockings, gifts, craft kits, gift wrapping goodies and jewelry...

How to Set a Pretty Thanksgiving Table - Quick & Simple

When we host a dinner or holiday, I get so caught up in the cooking and making sure the house is clean enough, that sometimes the table setting becomes the last task.  I love decorating so much more than cooking or cleaning, so it just pains me that this is the case.
I would rather take my time and enjoy the process, but sometimes there just isn't much time left!  Trying to set a pretty table can really add stress and pressure to an already busy situation.

There is a happy medium though!  I've figured out a formula.

You can use it for any event or holiday, and it always turns out...so long as you have the main piece...greenery of some sort.  Without it, ugh, it may feel a little empty.

1.  A Good Base
You need an easily cleaned, blank canvas.  That can be a bare polished table, or a tablecloth.  I like to use a cotton canvas painter's drop cloth.  It adds softness and light, protects your table...and it's inexpensive and multi-use!  If a spill doesn't wash out (they usually do), you can always use it for...a drop cloth.  *Make sure you wash and dry the drop cloth first (and of course iron it), sometimes they can have a funny smell.

2.  An Anchor
A table runner of any kind -  solid, patterned, an actual runner, a long piece of paper, or even just a long piece of cloth will give the next part, the most important part, an anchored feeling.

3.  A Centerpiece
This part makes the most difference and is SO easy...use a garland!  Either snake the entire length down the table, or fold it in half and center it.  Instant results!  It adds color, height, interest and fullness to your table.  Garlands are frequently on sale, cost less than flower bunches (fresh or faux), and are already arranged beautifully.  It saves you time and money (and can be reused again and again in other ways!).  You could even stop here and be done with it.  I added in a few sprigs of faux eucalyptus as this garland didn't have a lot of foliage.

4. Linens
I often use a neutral, basic napkin for the meal, and a smaller, colorful one to use at dessert.  They look so pretty layered between plates, or together in a napkin ring.  I'm keeping it simple for Thanksgiving, simple white dishwasher safe dinnerware (from Target, years ago), Mudpie monogrammed napkins and probably paper napkins with dessert (thanks to the mice that invaded a box in the garage that had my fall things- who knew cotton napkins made good nesting material?).

4.  Sparkle and Height
I love using both tall candlesticks for height and chunky short candles for weight.  You don't want anything that will block the view of who's sitting across the table, just something to add a little dimension and sparkle.  Worried about little fingers or napkins and candles?  Battery operated twinkle lights can mingle with the garland instead.

5. There you have it!  Basic, quick, no fuss table decor...of course you can add to it all you want, time and energy allowing.  What are your table decor go-to's?

5 Easy, Ready to Make Crafts to Get You into the Christmas Spirit

This year, my Etsy shop, RedHouseDryGoods, has a craft kit for grownups.  Every year, I have one for kids, each year slightly different, but why shouldn't the older crowd have some fun too?

Each kit has five little crafts, all packaged neatly in a sweet little bag, and comes with everything you need, including paint, paintbrush and glue....and of course, instructions.

Make these on your own, share the fun and have your kids help you, or give them to a crafty person on your list.  The little cloth bag they come in is perfect for storing your crafts as keepsakes or giving.  You can find them...here!